Love Stirs My Soul

I've been reading this book my sister got me for Christmas last year, titled Walking with God by John Eldridge. The book is full of lessons he learned from God about walking with Him.

 

 

One thing he mentions is asking God what He would want us to read in His Word

and as he says to ask and then do something he calls trying it on,

like "God what would You have me read today? God do You want me to read_name of book_? and whatever comes to mind you go there, you do the same for chapter and verse as well. I have randomly flipped my Bible open and prayed that God would show me what He wanted me to read, but I never asked Him what to read, and I do still go through books of the Bible as well. Anyway after reading a section in the book my sister got me I decided to "try it on" and of all the places in the Bible it was Revelation 3 that I needed to read..

7 “And to the angel of the church in Philadelphia write,
‘These things says He who is holy, He who is true, “He who has the key of David, He who opens and no one shuts, and shuts and no one opens”:[c] 8 “I know your works. See, I have set before you an open door, and no one can shut it;[d] for you have a little strength, have kept My word, and have not denied My name. 9 Indeed I will make those of the synagogue of Satan, who say they are Jews and are not, but lie—indeed I will make them come and worship before your feet, and to know that I have loved you. Revelation 3:7-9

 

The first two verses I thought were fitting to my finding a job after school, He has a way for me and has a plan even if I don't see what it is. “He who has the key of David, He who opens and no one shuts, and shuts and no one opens”:

Goes on to verse 8, you have little strength...that's how I felt for a LONG time in college, I feel as though I'm worn out, I'm tired, He also knows my works and whether or not I have kept His word

and lastly the thing I can't seem to forget

"I have loved you" This speaks to me so much the "I" makes it very personal, and "have" being passed tense means even when I haven't loved myself, or when I thought I was alone He has loved me, which at this moment becomes in my mind more beautiful than the first part of John 3:16 which mentions God in third person, "For God so loved the world..." "I have loved you."

I woke up this morning thinking "I have loved you".. He has loved me...He loves me...

Every time I think of this Love, it stirs my soul.

A Prayer of Thanks

Father, 
There are so many things You have blessed me with in my life, as I look around this place I have called home the last three years I see blessings that can only come from You. I see paintings and prints and drawings and photographs, along with things is a desire to create and change things from restoring something old and used to something that looks new. Father my prayer is that you will restore this heart of mine and make all things new, so others can see You and the joy and peace You give to those who walk with Your Son. I know I don't always have the right answer or at times even any answer but You my God the creator of the universe knows all for it says in Your Word 


 “ For who has known the mind of the LORD?Or who has become His counselor?”“ Or who has first given to Him And it shall be repaid to him?”  ^{Romans 11:34-35}


"Let a man so consider us, as servants of Christ and stewards of the mysteries of God." 1 Cor 4:1 
  
 "Have you not known? Have you not heard? The everlasting God, the LORD, The Creator of the ends of the earth, Neither faints nor is weary. His understanding is unsearchable." Isaiah 40:28
 
^"You have searched me, LORD, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise;
   you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways" 

Psalm 139:1-3

God I may not know what these next three years hold but I know You do and You know me inside and out and I pray that I may please You and bring glory to Your name, I know I am not deserving of calling You Father but I thank You for coming down in the likeness of man to save and restore my soul through death on the cross so we might one day live forever with You. God You Amaze me I love You and I want to love You more. Please give me a desire and a passion for You and for telling others about You and all You have done in my life and throughout history. Give me wisdom on when to speak and when to keep silent, when to act and when to be still, give me discernment of Your Word and Ways that I may know You more. Help me to see others as You see them, let me see through Your eyes God Lord God I thank You for this life You have blessed me with the family You placed me in and the friends You have given me, God I pray all I do will be to Your glory. For it is in the name of Christ Jesus I pray Amen. 

"As for me, I will see Your face in righteousness I shall be satisfied when I awake in Your likeness." Psalms 17:15

 

I Give, I Take Back.

Some lessons are those that don't seem as though they could ever be possible or maybe it's just giving Him EVERYTHING. I find so many times recently that I give something over to God and then take it back even though I know I can do nothing about it. But for me, I find that by constantly analyzing things that I feel in control of the situation even when I'm not and because I don't leave it to God and let Him have complete control in EVERYTHING, that I may just be missing out on a blessing if I just lay it at His feet and let Him be God and not me....

Romans 8:28
And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.


God help me trust You more!

Fear the One

Lately the Eastern part of the country has been hit with tornado warnings and watches and many people are without homes and vehicles and some have even lost their lives. If there is one thing I am afraid of it would be tornadoes and hurricanes basically because they are so powerful and amazing (to watch on tv) but in real life they are scary. Though I have never been affected by one just looking at the sky when a storm is coming and it’s a horrible shade of blue gray I am scared of what could be coming. While I was out running errands on Friday it was as if God was saying Fear Me for I made these the earth and wind and I have the power to save and destroy. If there is one thing I never fully could comprehend before was, fearing God, though I know He has the power to destroy and to save, I just never really thought about it. God destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah; He also gave instructions to kill even women and children during a battle with pagans. God is a God of Mercy yes, but He is also Just.

Isaiah 43: 11-13 I, even I, am the Lord, And besides Me there is no savior. I have declared and saved. I have proclaimed, and there was no “foreign god among you; Therefore you are My witnesses,” Says the Lord, “that I am God. Indeed before the was, I am He; And there is no one who can deliver out of My hand; I work, and who will reverse it?”

Acts 5:30-39

New King James Version (NKJV) via Biblegateway

^"30 The God of our fathers raised up Jesus whom you murdered by hanging on a tree. ³¹ Him God has exalted to His right hand to be Prince and Savior, to give repentance to Israel and forgiveness of sins. ³² And we are His witnesses to these things, and so also is the Holy Spirit whom God has given to those who obey Him.”

Gamaliel’s Advice

  
³³ When they heard this, they were furious and plotted to kill them. ³⁴ Then one in the council stood up, a Pharisee named Gamaliel, a teacher of the law held in respect by all the people, and commanded them to put the apostles outside for a little while. ³⁵ And he said to them: “Men of Israel, take heed to yourselves what you intend to do regarding these men. ³⁶ For some time ago Theudas rose up, claiming to be somebody. A number of men, about four hundred, joined him. He was slain, and all who obeyed him were scattered and came to nothing. ³⁷ After this man, Judas of Galilee rose up in the days of the census, and drew away many people after him. He also perished, and all who obeyed him were dispersed. ³⁸ And now I say to you, keep away from these men and let them alone; for if this plan or this work is of men, it will come to nothing; ³⁹ but if it is of God, you cannot overthrow it—lest you even be found to fight against God.” 

One thing that keeps coming up in my study is the fact that God is powerful and He is Just, and that He should be feared. God is both merciful and just. Justice was paid through the death of Jesus on the cross for our sins, so that we can spend eternity with Him. God's mercy is beyond my understanding, there are so many instances throughout the Bible where those who disobeyed God and died, just as Lot's wife disobeyed by looking back to where they had lived but she turned to look became a pillar of salt. (Genesis 19:25-27) Fear the Lord. 

^"17 Therefore you shall not oppress one another, but you shall fear your God; for I am the LORD your God.¹⁸ ‘So you shall observe My statutes and keep My judgments, and perform them; and you will dwell in the land in safety." Leviticus 25:16-18

The End is Near!

Okay, so you may have thought my title  for this post was going to have something to do about the end times and the earth coming to an end, and well it does a little. However the title for this post is mainly about my career as an undergraduate student. I recently walked in the graduation ceremony for ECU and will be taking French 3 and 4 over the summer along with anthropology and then I'm done! I will have officially graduated! :) 

The next chapter of my life story is about to begin and it's exciting and yet terrifying all at the same time! But God is in control and I know this because His word says so

"He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. ¹⁶ For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him. ¹⁷ He is before all things, and in him all things hold together..." Colossians 1:15-17 

He holds everything together! I know "my God is greater, my God is stronger, my God is higher than any other, my God is Healer, Awesome in power, my God" Chris Tomlin Our God  

^{Some other verses God showed me are,}

^"10 And in this I give advice: It is to your advantage not only to be doing what you began and were desiring to do a year ago; ¹¹ but now you also must complete the doing of it; that as there was a readiness to desire it, so there also may be a completion out of what you have. ¹² For if there is first a willing mind, it is accepted according to what one has, and not according to what he does not have. 2 Corinthians 8:10-12

^"8 The end of a thing is better than its beginning..." Ecclesiastes 7:7-9 

This July the end of my career as an undergraduate will (Finally) be official!!!

One Down Two to Go.

Well tonight was a first as well as a last...I went to my first end of semester cookout for art historians this evening and I really enjoyed it only to realize I won't be going to another one...I don't have any more art history classes after this semester all I basically have left is French. So bittersweet!!! Part of me want's to stay in school forever and never graduate. When you count all the years I've been in school since kindergarten when I was 5 to graduating college at 26, that's a long time to get up and know you have school everyday and now realizing this routine of getting up and going to class everyday is about to be over. I am looking forward to what God has next but I'm also sad that I'll be leaving so many friends...However I know one day they'll graduate..most of them anyway.;). Last two finals of the semester tomorrow...getting back to homework the part I won't miss...well not entirely! :)

Final Spring Semester

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lol! Okay I feel better! :) 

Seriously, this semester has gone by so fast! Which I am totally thankful for! Once I walk in three weeks I'll only have three courses left to take! Then I will have graduated college!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am incredibly excited right now!

Power

At this time in my life right now, Power is my favorite name of God, He is Power and has Power, everything is in His Power. He has the Power to conquer death once and for all by raising from the dead! He has the Power to help you get through tough situations. He has the Power to change lives! There are so many things I could list about God as Power and having Power.

He also has Power to change hearts. One saying I heard from a preaching from the RZIM Ravi Zacharias International Ministries was on praying in His name and had to do with praying for people saying "Prayer is like ministering to someone" This is because His name is Power and there is Power in His name, He wants us to pray for our friends and those we know who may not have hope in the only Power that can save them!

"...Again the high priest asked Him, saying are You the Christ, the Son of the Blessed? Jesus Said I am. And you will will see the Son of Man sitting at the right hand of the Power, and coming with the clouds of heaven" Mark 14:61-62

I may not be able to change hearts of my friends (hitting them on the head with the Word would not do any good, no matter how hard I want to) But through prayer in His name all things are possible with God.

I like what Jesus says in Mark 9:23 "If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes." This is His response to the father of the boy who is demon possessed since childhood. The father of the boy is the one who say's "Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!"

The Power of faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, we can not do it apart from the Power. One of my favorite sayings from a preacher I love to listen to says it this way "we need ask God to put His Super on our natural"

There is so much Power in His name what would happen if we were to actually pray realizing we know the One with the Power? I have also been wondering What would happen if we pray constantly, there are so many religions that have a set number of times and prayers what would happen if all Christians prayed 10 times a day- without falling asleep, or getting distracted? I do believe Prayer is a vital part in winning others to Christ, Spending time with Him daily and asking Him to open our hearts to understanding to see the world as He sees it. It changes how you think and feel about everything. I believe He is coming again the world points to it, and yet so many people don't know the Power of His mercy and grace, and they will never know that Power if we don't daily tap into that Power daily on their behalf through prayer and also for ourselves in boldness, wisdom and truth to take a stand for Him. He is coming again and we have to fight for each lost soul, the battle may be physical in some parts of the world but it is also spiritual over the whole world. The only way we can fight is to tap into the Power that has already won, for Christ defeated death and lives today and that my friends is Power!

Love to you all In the name of Power.
 Christ be with you

Living a Life Style of Worship

After listening to a sermon online from a pastor who I respect a lot, who preaches the Word of God as Truth I started thinking about my life and my relationship with God, there have been times I have stumbled and chosen what I wanted and there have been times I've chosen God's way. There are times I have been on fire for God and times I have just been content with where I'm at in our relationship and I'm reminded of the fact that God calls us to live a life of worship to live with Him as Lord of our life. Some says its easy to follow Him and other days its a struggle He knows that each day we have a choice to follow Him or not. If the choices we make or what we say points others to Him or turns them away. Our life is to be one of prayer and reflection, to pray continually seeking Him and His will, to talk to Him as though He is right there next to us, because He is. When we say our Amen at the end of our prayers it doesn't mean that our conversation has to cease with God it can be the beginning. I honestly can't tell you why God cares so much about each part of our lives but it matters to Him that we share it with Him, the good and the bad. I know its easy for me to talked to God about the bad but He wants to hear the good too. He even wants to hear you laugh! One of my favorite things is to ask God to make me laugh, then He gives me a thought or says something funny! His humor is clean!

Reflection is meditating on the things He has done, through the Bible and in your life as well, examine your life and see what God has done in it since knowing Him! Remembering the things God throughout history will help you remember and know that He really can do anything! He parted the Red Sea, He keeps His promises this will grow your faith and trust in the Lord Jesus Christ more than anything else! There is a reason why God had His people build alters to Him to remember what He did. What is your alter to remember what God has done in your life? I'm not saying build an alter and worship it or make sacrifices on it, I'm saying is there a time or a place where you can go and remember what God has done in your life and can you go back to that place and say "okay God I saw you move here once and God I asked that I may see you move in my life again." God wants us to remember Him and what He can do, because without Him we can do nothing, but with Him all things are possible.

Last but not least living a life of worship, I admit there are times I have been better at this than I am as of right now, but I remember the fire, the love the passion and I want to get back to a place where I worship the Lord God Almighty every minute of every day! Worship isn't just for church, its how we must live our lives if we want the world to see Him in our lives. It doesn't matter where you are you can stop what your doing and take time to worship Him, even if all you have is a 5 min break between classes or meetings lift His name up and sing praises and you will find, joy and peace and assurance in the Lord Jesus, even if you believe everything is falling apart remember He is Lord!

Blessings and prayers to all.
May God be glorified in our lives!

Going for a Drive

Thursday night after BCM (Baptist Campus Ministery) Then I got some dinner and Jesus and I drove around for a while. I must say He is the best, loves me in spite of myself...something I'll never understand, He wants to be with me, He loves me so much He's always trying to get my attention. His Grace is sufficient and His is mercy never ending! Sometimes I can't stand myself so why would the God of the universe love me enough to save me? How can He love me that much? He is Awesome, Amazing and He's my best friend!

So Many Things So Little Time

Hey,

Well I thought I should mention that this IS my last spring semester!!!! Thanks to God Almighty! Yes miracles do still happen! :) When you've been in college as long as I have you would understand. God takes us each on our own journey through life. Some may have have college as a short chapter some might be there a little longer. God's plan for our life is unique it's His plan not our plan. He has been reminding me of that this last year. I mean who knows He may want you in a different major or concentration. Though I am as tired and stressed out as ever feeling as though I have so many things to accomplish and so little time to do it in. I know God holds my future, Jer 29:11. I honestly never thought my journey would have gone the way it has, but I don't regret it, not for a minute, sure it may have been easier to get it and then get out, but what I got a different degree than the one God intended or what about the friends I have made would we have even met? God's plan is so much bigger than what we can see. He sees the big picture. So what is another two years to God plan? I don't know but I know that this is right and that God is Good!

So while my status as an ecu student may not continue much longer, my status as a student of the Lord Jesus Christ will continue forever! And that is one journey I don't want to miss!

Peace

Seasons of my soul they come and go
But as they slip away I know
Something else remains that will not change
Places in my heart are torn apart
But in my brokenness I find
Something stays behind that will not change

Chorus:
The peace that passes understanding
Is a blessing that will never fade away
The peace that passes understanding
Is here to stay
The peace that passes understanding
Never passes away

Lord in times alone my heart has known
The quiet words of your tender love
And your gentle touch that changes me
Even through the storm I'm safe and I'm warm
For you have covered me with grace
In your hiding place I am at peace

Peace comes like the dawn
Peace like the world can't understand
You take my hand and I stand
Though others may fall

Joy

Since my last post, I simply has been oppressed, depressed and stressed in the art building...mainly printmaking. I thought after taking survey it was meant to be, I thought that's where God  wanted me and that it was what I wanted to do.  I  figured I had gone through so many courses and was half way through the program that it was what I was supposed to do. I started feeling trapped like I had to stick with it for the next year so I could graduate in December 2011.

 Little did I know God had other plans. The feeling of helplessness was unbelievable so I got on my knees and asked for some direction talked to family and friends who all were encouraging and gave great advice I knew they were praying for me which I can not even begin to tell you how much I appreciated it and what an impact those prayers had. After about a week of seeking God's will through His Word and in prayer I told my sister I made the choice to stay in the program and she said "are you sure? You've only been thinking about this for a week" So I continued to seek God's will, if this was what He wanted me to do I would do it, and if it was art history I would switch.

Printmaking was the most logical choice and I already took a bunch of studios plus being only two semesters away from graduating...as I said it seemed the most logical but sometimes what may seem logical in a moment isn't so logical when you think of the cost, mentally, physically(sleepless nights in the art building, high blood pressure) and emotionally, it's exhausting doing something you'd rather not be doing, not that I don't like printmaking I don't think I could have lasted as long as I did if I didn't but I didn't/don't love it, nor was I sure even after submitting what I was going to do after college. I knew I didn't want to be a printer the rest of my life just as much as I knew I didn't want to be a teacher. Sometimes God opens doors and sometimes He wants us to make a choice.

The day I woke up and said I am switching to art history was by far the best day I've had at school in a while. That night when I went to bed I can honestly say I had no stress, the weight I had been carrying on my shoulders was gone completely!!! I remember smiling and saying "God I don't know when it happened but thank you! I feel so free and I like it!" it was as if I could see Him smiling and saying "my child I love you, I sent My Son so you may have life and have it abundantly and that My joy may remain in you and that your joy may be full!" I can tell you that life in studio has changed for me, I know longer feel trapped and when I told one of my professors during class he commented on my smiling and and said "you seem so happy!" I will admit the thought of leaving studio is a bittersweet thought, but then I think of all the possibilities that lie ahead around the corner and I just can't wait to see what God has planned! "All things are possible with God." Matthew 19:26

As it turns out I can still graduate December 2011. May God bless you and keep you and may your joy be found in Him!

Jessica

Reason

I figured that with all that God has been teaching me I'd start keeping a blog. I hope that through my mistakes and trials that you will be encouraged and know that God truly can use anyone!