Joy

Since my last post, I simply has been oppressed, depressed and stressed in the art building...mainly printmaking. I thought after taking survey it was meant to be, I thought that's where God  wanted me and that it was what I wanted to do.  I  figured I had gone through so many courses and was half way through the program that it was what I was supposed to do. I started feeling trapped like I had to stick with it for the next year so I could graduate in December 2011.

 Little did I know God had other plans. The feeling of helplessness was unbelievable so I got on my knees and asked for some direction talked to family and friends who all were encouraging and gave great advice I knew they were praying for me which I can not even begin to tell you how much I appreciated it and what an impact those prayers had. After about a week of seeking God's will through His Word and in prayer I told my sister I made the choice to stay in the program and she said "are you sure? You've only been thinking about this for a week" So I continued to seek God's will, if this was what He wanted me to do I would do it, and if it was art history I would switch.

Printmaking was the most logical choice and I already took a bunch of studios plus being only two semesters away from graduating...as I said it seemed the most logical but sometimes what may seem logical in a moment isn't so logical when you think of the cost, mentally, physically(sleepless nights in the art building, high blood pressure) and emotionally, it's exhausting doing something you'd rather not be doing, not that I don't like printmaking I don't think I could have lasted as long as I did if I didn't but I didn't/don't love it, nor was I sure even after submitting what I was going to do after college. I knew I didn't want to be a printer the rest of my life just as much as I knew I didn't want to be a teacher. Sometimes God opens doors and sometimes He wants us to make a choice.

The day I woke up and said I am switching to art history was by far the best day I've had at school in a while. That night when I went to bed I can honestly say I had no stress, the weight I had been carrying on my shoulders was gone completely!!! I remember smiling and saying "God I don't know when it happened but thank you! I feel so free and I like it!" it was as if I could see Him smiling and saying "my child I love you, I sent My Son so you may have life and have it abundantly and that My joy may remain in you and that your joy may be full!" I can tell you that life in studio has changed for me, I know longer feel trapped and when I told one of my professors during class he commented on my smiling and and said "you seem so happy!" I will admit the thought of leaving studio is a bittersweet thought, but then I think of all the possibilities that lie ahead around the corner and I just can't wait to see what God has planned! "All things are possible with God." Matthew 19:26

As it turns out I can still graduate December 2011. May God bless you and keep you and may your joy be found in Him!

Jessica